We’re accustomed to dividing our lives into stages based on chronology:
youth, maturity, and old age. But I’ve found it interesting to look at the stages
of life in another way: body, mind, heart, and soul. At various periods in
earthly existence, I’ve found that we focus our attention in one or another of
these areas and learn lessons accordingly. However, we’re not usually aware
that we’re doing this. Nor do we all progress through the same stages at the
same ages, or even consciously choose a particular one at a particular time.
Some people focus on the body stage during childhood and the
teen years, as they grow rapidly, play sports, worry about how they look, explore
their sexuality, etc. During this stage, you learn through doing things that
engage or affect your body, and by testing your physical capabilities. Others
may go through the body stage as elders, when illnesses or infirmity challenge
them physically, and they must find new ways to cope with their bodies’ needs
or limitations.
The mind stage often coincides with our school years, when
we learn many things rapidly. However, your mind stage could occur as you
advance in your career. You develop your mental capabilities through
interacting with colleagues and competitors, and strive to gain as much
knowledge as possible. Some people don’t enter the mind stage until late in
life, when they no long need to focus on financial and family responsibilities,
and finally have a chance to pursue a line of study or a special interest.
Like the other stages, the heart stage can occur at any time
in your chronological life. During this period, we learn by opening our hearts
to joy and pain. Some of us fall in love at an early age, and romantic
relationships are a priority. In our younger years, we often let our emotions
rule us––we’re guided by our hearts, not our minds. Others may not meet their
soul mates, or experience “true love” until middle age or later. It’s not
unusual for people to have second marriages that are more loving and fulfilling
than their first ones were. However, happiness isn’t necessarily the key
indicator of being in the heart stage. In fact, the heart stage is frequently
difficult, because the challenges you face affect you at such a deep emotional
level: the death of a mate, a painful divorce, caring for a loved one through
an illness, etc. In some cases, you learn the lessons of the heart stage
through a relationship with someone who pushes your emotional buttons.
The length of time you spend in each of the stages can vary
widely. One may last a year, another may continue for twenty years or more. Often
there’s some overlap, as you gradually transition from one stage to another,
although occasionally it’s like switching on a light. You may not experience
all four stages. It might be interesting to look back over your lifetime and
see if you recognize the periods when you were in one stage or another. How and
what did you learn at each stage? What people were in your life then and how
did you interact with them? How did you perceive the world and your role in it?
Where are you now?
